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Weighted Blankets That Mimic the Crushing Pressure of Life Right Now
Perfect for those days when you just can’t face the world.
Considering getting a weighted blanket? For that genuinely restorative night of sleep, there’s no better choice. Newer models will even simulate the endless onslaught of our current societal and political hellscapes—without any loss in comfort or durability.
The “Curl Up With Nondescript Anxiety” Lightweight
Glass beads and foam pellets render you immobile while you replay the last 24 hours, trying to determine what went wrong. You were supposed to do something at lunch—what the hell was it? Why did Colleen give you that weird look after the meeting? Is having a dime-sized patch of dry skin on your elbow a symptom of Lyme disease? That dripping sound is back. What in the living room would make a dripping sound? Holy Christ, it’s light outside.
The “Who Am I Letting Down?” Comforter
Lay prone and cozily defeated beneath the expectations of everyone relying on you. Your stab at “sexting” with Jeannie last night unraveled into a series of stale erotic GIFs. Visiting your parents in Arizona four times a year was an impossible promise; you see that now. The dog’s satellite…
