Introducing The Ford Gemini, The Perfect Vehicle For Whatever The Hell’s Happening Next

ATTN EDITOR: Consider this copy extremely in flux while we wait for more specifics about the near future. Ha ha. In the meantime, I tried to cover all angles. Also I haven’t really been sleeping.

DO YOU HEAR IT? THE OPEN ROAD IS CALLING. It’s saying, “Adventure belongs to those who reach out and claim it.” Or maybe it’s saying, “This can wait! Travel’s probably not the best idea right now!” Either way, the Ford Gemini is here to carry you to the future, a world painted with broad strokes and flush with promise, or possibly a world grey and lifeless and eerily familiar, or, you know what, it’s okay if you don’t want to picture the future right now.

Our mighty six-cylinder, 240-horsepower engine gets you wherever you’re going: whether you’re scaling the Rockies towards an untouched skiing paradise, or racing your anti-vax neighbor to the closest ER while nearly biting off your tongue to keep from saying “I told you so,” the Gemini will have you there before you start second-guessing yourself, the way you do now with every big decision.

Every journey needs a soundtrack, and six studio-quality speakers will have you grooving to your fave tunes OR the third revision of that day’s CDC health advisory — always with unparalleled SuperBass™ clarity.