Welcome to Stone Island, stranger! Put down your worries, step through the arch of woven corn silk into the town square, and join the annual harvest festival — a time of abundance, community, and in no way whatsoever a facade through which we lure strangers onto the island and kill…

Gay people are groomers. Haven’t you heard? We have this secret agenda of readying youngsters for horrible things — and we’ve been found out. Also, anyone who opposes the new Gay People Can Only Have The Mushiest Avocados At Whole Foods amendment, or whatever it is this week, well, they…

Ladies and gentlemen, thanks so much for allowing me to speak at your public hearing. When I heard about the newest piece of legislation you’re trying to ram through — forgive me if I don’t have all the details right, the Don’t Say Gay bill, or the Try Not To…

Jeanine is a Manhattan advertising exec who seems to have it all, but can’t shake the feeling that something’s missing. On a lark she visits her childhood home of Graham Corners, Wisconsin. In January. Jeanine proposes a tractor ride around the family farm with her dad, but the equipment is…

ME AND GEORGIE BYRON GO WAY BACK. Sorry! — I know these days everyone calls him “Lord”. I grew up across the street from the Byrons. His mom borrowed sealing wax from us all the time. I would drag Georgie away from his books to skip rocks by the riverbank…

ATTN EDITOR: Please consider this copy extremely in flux while we wait for more specifics about the near future. Ha. In the meantime, I tried to cover all angles. Also I haven’t really been sleeping. DO YOU HEAR IT? THE OPEN ROAD IS CALLING. It’s saying, “Adventure belongs to those…

I thought this moment would never come. When we closed our doors, I wondered how we could ever survive: hell, our good months were spent on the verge of financial ruin. After a while, the idea of doing a show here again seemed unthinkable… who could have guessed a massive…

Tax season has arrived! As an enormously wealthy person, you want to pay your fair share — but how? Breathe easy through that platinum cigarette holder! These sensible additions to the tax code, written with you in mind, will allow you to contribute appropriately and then get back to that…

COVID is surging and the race towards a vaccine has never been more urgent. While labs around the world make continuing progress, the worldwide medical community agrees our best chance for a solution rests with two independent researchers: Robert Shearing and Linda Shearing-Davis, long considered the foremost experts on infectious…