911, I Have A Medical Emergency But Also I’m Watching ‘Avengers: Endgame’

911: Emergency Services, go ahead.

CALLER: Hi, my friend slipped and hit his head. Hard. He’s not responding.

911: Okay, sir, don’t panic. Is your friend breathing?

CALLER: I… I can’t tell.

911: I’m hearing a lot of background noise.

CALLER: Right, I should have mentioned, I’m at an advance screening of Avengers: Endgame and—

911: OH MY GOD, NO YOU’RE NOT, NO YOU ARE FUCKING N—

Phone dropped. Chair knocked over. Shouting. Deep breaths. Chair reset. Phone recovered.

911: Are you still there?

CALLER: Yeah.

911: Okay, listen. You’re putting me in a really difficult situation. I’m gonna keep talking with you but you CANNOT tell me what happens, okay? Deal?

CALLER: How can I —

911: IS THAT A DEAL?

CALLER: I — sure. Deal.

911: Great. Now, when did your friend fall down.

CALLER: He was coming back with more popcorn, it was a while ago.

911: Can you be more specific?